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For the first time in my adult life, I cried in the shower today. I don’t normally cry over stuff. But today, I did. It was just too much to bear. I just had to let it out and I still get teary eyed whenever I think about it.

You might see me as someone who is very optimistic. Yes, I am because I choose to. But it doesn’t mean that I am happy, truly happy. I just choose to smile everyday and psych myself that I’d be happy for the day. But why is it so difficult to be happy? Why does it have to be an everyday struggle?

Then one day, I found my happiness. There is this certain calm and peacefulness with it. I was in denial at first but the force was so strong I can’t go against it. But was it just a temporary bliss? Why is it so difficult to hold on to the one thing that makes you happy? I just wish I know the answer.